Good morning. It’s February 17th, Presidents’ Day. The weekend was a blink, and now we’re here again. 

On this day in 1801, the U.S. House of Representatives had to step in because Jefferson and Burr tied for president. After 35 rounds of voting, they finally picked Jefferson. Burr, being the sorest loser in history, later shot Alexander Hamilton (the guy who built the U.S. financial system, among other things), and now we have a Broadway musical where people dramatically rap about it.

Anyway, it’s Monday. Again. So here’s your newsletter. Read it, or stare blankly at your screen pretending to work. Either way, we’re all in this together.

Today’s stories:

• Instagram’s downvotes may soon bury bad comments

• TikTok is restored, but drama isn’t over

• Kayaker swallowed by whale—briefly

• Thailand bets on TV tourism boost

• OpenAI rejects Musk’s $97B offer

• Honda & Nissan’s $60B breakup

• Apple’s cryptic teaser drops

  and more…

The stock market failed to impress on Friday, with the S&P 500 missing a record high for the second day in a row. It closed flat, while the Dow dipped 0.4% and the Nasdaq inched up 0.4%. Overall, it was an uneventful day for major indexes. U.S. markets will be closed on Monday, Feb. 17, for Presidents Day.

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Zelle Hits $1 Trillion—Cash Is Officially Dead

Zelle just crushed the competition, moving $1 trillion in payments last year—more than any other peer-to-peer platform ever. While PayPal is still stuck at $400 billion, Zelle’s user base jumped 12% to 151 million accounts, with total transactions up 27%. Launched in 2017 to fight off Venmo and CashApp, Zelle’s secret weapon is instant transfers baked into big bank apps. Owned by JPMorgan, BofA, Wells Fargo, and friends, it’s growing fast—despite accusations that banks ignored fraud complaints. Zelle says 99.95% of transactions are clean. Whether that number is real or just good PR, people clearly don’t care. The money keeps flowing.

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Honda & Nissan’s $60B breakup. Honda and Nissan were about to become the ultimate power couple in the car world with a $60 billion merger. But, like all great love stories, this one crashed and burned. Talks collapsed, meaning we won’t get a Japanese mega-carmaker to take on Tesla and BYD. Still, they’re keeping it civil. Both companies (plus Mitsubishi, third-wheeling as usual) promise to “stay friends” and work together on EVs, batteries, and software. 

Robinhood hits the jackpot. Robinhood just made a fortune, thanks to Bitcoin hype and crazy crypto trading. Profits jumped 3,200%, and revenue shot past $1 billion in Q4. Robinhood stock jumped 14% to a new high because Wall Street loves a good comeback story. In 2024, the company actually made money instead of losing it. But for 2025, analysts think profits will drop—because, well, what goes up must come down.

OpenAI to Elon: nope. Elon Musk tried to buy OpenAI for $97 billion, and OpenAI basically said, “Yeah, no.” The board rejected the offer outright, calling any future bids disingenuous. Musk, who helped start OpenAI but later bailed, has been trying to block the company from becoming a money-making machine. Meanwhile, OpenAI is busy securing more cash to stay ahead in the AI race—with or without him.

The ‘White Lotus effect’. Thailand is buzzing around The White Lotus Season 3, hoping for the "White Lotus effect"—wherever the show films, tourism booms. Hawaii and Sicily saw hotel bookings skyrocket, with one resort in Sicily booked solid for months. Luxury spots like the Four Seasons Samui are already feeling the surge, where a two-night stay in March costs £1,700. The government is also betting the show will sell Thailand as a wellness hotspot. It’s part of the bigger "set-jetting" trend, where TV fans flock to filming locations. Ted Lasso sent searches for Richmond up 160%, and after Succession’s finale, Norway searches spiked. 

Apple Teases a New Product

Tim Cook just dropped a vague teaser for a new Apple product launching February 19. A shiny logo, some cryptic text—classic Apple move. No real details, just enough to fuel wild speculation. Tech nerds are convinced it’s the iPhone SE 4, because spring is Apple’s usual time for budget iPhones. Apple, of course, says nothing.

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TikTok is back—for now. After a month-long drama, TikTok is back in the App Store and Google Play. Apple and Google have quietly restore the app, so everyone can go back to scrolling. The comeback happened after US Attorney General Pam Bondi assured Apple it wouldn’t get fined for hosting the app. Meanwhile, Trump put VP JD Vance in charge of figuring out a possible sale.

Instagram tests a ‘dislike’ button. Instagram is testing a ‘dislike’ button for comments, letting users downvote bad takes, spam, or just vibes they don’t like. No one will see the count, and no one will know you disliked their comment. According to Instagram head Adam Mosseri, dislikes will eventually affect comment rankings, meaning the worst replies might get buried.

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Kayaker Gets Swallowed by Whale

A father-son kayaking trip off Chile took a turn when a humpback whale surfaced and casually swallowed Adrián Simancas. A few seconds later, the whale spat him out, leaving him bobbing in the water—soaked, shocked, and suddenly holding the ultimate party story. His dad filmed the whole thing, because priorities.

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Spring on Mars. While Earth gets blooming flowers and allergies, Mars welcomes spring with violent geysers and avalanches. Thanks to its 25-degree tilt, the Red Planet has four seasons like us—but with 687-day years, each season drags on forever. Spring on Mars is anything but peaceful. The thin atmosphere means ice doesn’t melt—it skips straight to gas, triggering massive eruptions of carbon dioxide and dust. NASA’s probes caught the action, proving once again that Mars doesn’t do “gentle.”

The man who made snowflakes famous. Wilson Bentley spent his life photographing snowflakes. Born in 1865 in Vermont, he got obsessed after his mom gave him a microscope. When drawing them failed, he begged for a camera, rigged it to his microscope, and in 1885, took the first snowflake photo. For years, he worked in freezing temps, catching flakes on a black slate, moving them with a feather, and racing to snap a pic before they melted. He assumed some big scientist had already done this, but in 1898, the University of Vermont proved him wrong, and suddenly, he was famous. Bentley’s snowflake pics inspired Tiffany jewelry, got published in Popular Science, and landed in the Smithsonian. 

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TikTok of the day: watch here