Good morning.
It’s Tuesday, August 5 — and August is already sweating through its shirt. The sun is still trying to incinerate everything, but somewhere out there, a pumpkin spice latte is being whispered into existence. 

On this day in 1884, Americans laid the cornerstone of the Statue of Liberty’s pedestal on Bedloe’s Island — now Liberty Island. A six-ton pink granite block from Connecticut kicked off the base for Lady Liberty, a gift from the French that said, “We love you, here’s a statue, please never ask us for help again.” 

Anyway — hydrate, pretend your to-do list isn’t judging you, and enjoy the read. Hope your week is as solid as that pedestal.

Today’s stories:

• New ChatGPT mode aims to stop cheating

• Walmart partners with MLS for exposure

• Brooklyn–Queens rail coming… in 2030s

• Australia finds its heaviest insect ever

• Baby born from 1994 frozen embryo

• Amazon backs AI tool for TV scripts

• BP finds biggest oil field in decades

• ‘Quiet Place 3’ hits theaters 2027

• Figma stock jumps 250% on IPO

• Tesla gifts Musk $29B in stock

  and more…

Wall Street came back swinging Monday after last week’s stumble. The S&P 500 jumped 1.5%, the Dow added nearly 600 points, and the Nasdaq led the charge, up 1.9%. Nvidia surged 3%, while Meta and Microsoft both hit fresh record highs.

The rally followed Friday’s brutal sell-off, which capped the worst week for stocks in months. The trigger? A weaker-than-expected July jobs report and downward revisions to previous months—flipping the “strong labor market” narrative. In response, Trump slammed the Bureau of Labor Statistics and fired its commissioner, vowing to install new leadership at the agency soon.

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Amazon Invests in AI Soap Operas

Amazon just backed a startup that wants you to write your own TV show — with a few words and a lot of AI guesswork. The company’s called Fable, and its new toy is “Showrunner,” basically the Netflix of robots with screenwriting dreams. Want to make a soap opera about time-traveling raccoons? Type it in, and poof — you’ve got a scene. Or a whole series. Right now it’s free (if you use Discord, of course), but soon they’ll charge creators $10–$20/month for credit packs to keep cranking out AI nonsense. You can watch this weird fever dream content for free and post it anywhere, including YouTube. Amazon’s Alexa Fund is betting real money on this — just not telling anyone how much.

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Elon gets $29B because sure, why not. Tesla just handed Elon Musk a casual $29 billion in stock. All because the 2018 $50 billion pay package got slapped down by a Delaware court, and this is the company’s way of saying “no hard feelings, bro.”  The 96 million shares are a “good faith” gesture — you know, just billionaire things — to keep Elon from wandering off to build Mars condos or flamethrowers full-time. A more official pay plan is coming in November, when shareholders will vote on whether Elon deserves another mountain of stock for juggling robot cars, robot people, and whatever Twitter is now. 

Figma IPO goes full rocket mode. Figma just pulled off the IPO equivalent of a Beyoncé mic drop. Figma, the design-software darling, has basically eaten Adobe XD and Sketch’s lunch, then asked for dessert. Now analysts are hoping Canva, Databricks, and Genesys are next to go public so they can pretend this was all part of the plan. Its stock exploded 250% on day one — the biggest jump ever for an IPO that raised over $500 million. It even crushed the previous record set by Circle Internet’s debut earlier this summer. Figma walked in at $33 a share, opened at $85, hit $124 at one point, and eventually landed at $115.50. All before dinner. The company raised over $1.2 billion, split between itself and some very happy early investors. Wall Street is calling it a “bellwether” for tech — translation: everyone else is now scrambling to file their S-1s.

Walmart joins the soccer hype train. Walmart is officially jumping into soccer — and not just by selling discount cleats. The retail giant just signed a multi-year partnership with Major League Soccer. Terms are secret (obviously), but Walmart will now plaster its name all over MLS games, starting with this month’s Leagues Cup. That means stadium ads, website promos, in-store soccer hype — basically, you won’t be able to escape it. This move isn’t just about selling more merch. It’s about chasing Gen Z and Latino fans, who make up most of the MLS audience and—surprise—are also spending money. With the 2026 World Cup looming, brands are piling in like it’s Black Friday for soccer fandom. Also on deck: Walmart and MLS are launching a “creator network” full of influencers and players doing behind-the-scenes content. Because what this sport needed was more TikToks from people wearing neon cleats.

BP hits fossil fuel gold in Brazil. BP just hit the jackpot off the coast of Brazil, making its biggest oil and gas discovery in 25 years. The timing is convenient, since the company recently decided it’s done pretending to care about renewables and is diving back into fossil fuels like it’s 1999. The new site, called Bumerangue — because even their climate promises keep coming back — is set to become a major production hub. It’s apparently their biggest find since the Shah Deniz field in Azerbaijan, which pumped out enough gas to fuel a Bond villain’s lair. BP didn’t say how much oil or gas is down there, but you can bet it’s enough to get investors smiling. Shares ticked up 1.3%, which in oil-speak is basically a standing ovation.

ChatGPT Study Mode Now Available for Students Who Pretend to Try

ChatGPT just launched “study mode” — a new feature meant to gently stop students from using it to straight-up cheat. Instead of spitting out full essays or exam answers, it now wants to hold your hand and walk you through things “step by step.” Like a nerdy tutor that refuses to do your homework for you. This comes after universities freaked out over a surge in AI-fueled cheating. In the UK alone, nearly 7,000 students got caught letting bots do their thinking — up from about 1,600 the year before. So yes, the honor system has officially died. OpenAI insists this isn’t a killjoy move, just a wholesome attempt to make students actually learn stuff. But of course, anyone can still ignore study mode and get the shortcut anyway. 

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A baby that waited 30 years to be born. An Ohio couple just welcomed a baby born from an embryo frozen in 1994. Yes, the same year Friends premiered and pagers were still a thing. Lindsey and Tim Pierce had been trying to conceive for seven years before adopting the 30-year-old embryo through an embryo adoption agency. The embryo was created via IVF and left chilling in a lab freezer since before dial-up internet. On July 26, baby Thaddeus was born — basically a '90s kid with no student loans. Science wins, nostalgia weeps.

Aussie scientists discover bugzilla. Australia has done it again — this time with a giant stick insect that’s setting records and breaking branches. Meet Acrophylla alta, the newest “how-is-this-real” creature to crawl out of the rainforest. It stretches nearly 16 inches long (taller than your venti cold brew) and weighs 1.6 ounces — officially the heaviest insect ever recorded in Australia. Scientists found the chunky bug in a remote mountain zone between Millaa Millaa and Mount Hypipamee. The discovery is another reminder that Australia’s wildlife is still out here doing the absolute most — and that we’ve barely scratched the surface of what’s lurking in the trees.

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Tiptoe Into 2027 With A Quiet Place Part III

Shhhh — it’s back. “A Quiet Place Part III” is officially hitting theaters on July 9, 2027. John Krasinski is back in the director’s chair, still writing, still producing, still whispering. No word yet on whether Emily Blunt or the kids are returning, but if you’ve seen the first two, you know not to expect a full cast reunion. The plot is top secret. But odds are high it’ll include sound-sensitive aliens, dramatic silence, and more stress than your group chat drama. Krasinski’s last Quiet Place entries raked in over $900 million, so of course Paramount is milking this whisper franchise one more time.

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NYC’s next subway line, arriving in the 2030s. After only three decades of talk, the Brooklyn–Queens rail link is actually happening — kind of. Governor Hochul says the $5.5 billion Interborough Express is officially in its design phase, which means we’re now dreaming in PowerPoint instead of napkins. The 14-mile light rail will run from Sunset Park to Jackson Heights, with 19 stations and connections to 17 subway lines, 50 bus routes, and two LIRR hubs. The trip will be a sleek 32 minutes, shaving up to an hour off daily commutes. Of course, don’t cancel your Uber app just yet — the line won’t be done until sometime in the 2030s. Yes, that’s almost a hundred years since the last full NYC rapid transit line opened in 1937. Until then, enjoy the renderings and press conferences.

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TikTok of the day: watch here

From Italy to a Nasdaq Reservation

How do you follow record-setting success? Get stronger. Take Pacaso. Their real estate co-ownership tech set records in Paris and London in 2024. No surprise. Coldwell Banker says 40% of wealthy Americans plan to buy abroad within a year. So adding 10+ new international destinations, including three in Italy, is big. They even reserved the Nasdaq ticker PCSO.

Invest for $2.90/Share

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