Good morning.

It’s Friday, May 29, which means we survived another week of pretending to be emotionally stable. Congratulations to everyone who made it here without dramatically moving to a small village in the south of France.

Also, somehow it’s already the end of May. One minute it was “new year, new me,” the next minute we’re five months deep into 2026. Time is moving at a deeply disrespectful speed.

Have a good read and an even better weekend.

Today’s stories:

Stocks climbed Thursday as tech stocks pushed markets back to record highs, while investors also reacted to reports that U.S. and Iranian negotiators agreed to extend the ceasefire.

The S&P 500 rose 0.58% to close at a fresh record of 7,563.63, while the Nasdaq jumped 0.91% to another all-time high at 26,917.47. The Dow added a modest 0.05%.

Tech led the rally again after Snowflake reignited AI excitement on Wall Street. Shares surged 36.5% — their best day ever — after the cloud company raised guidance, beat earnings expectations, and announced plans to spend $6 billion on Amazon Web Services over the next five years. AI trade optimism: fully rebooted.

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Wells Fargo is officially backing 3D printed homes, which means houses made by giant robots are slowly becoming less “weird startup idea” and more “30-year mortgage commitment.” The bank announced it will offer mortgages for homes built with technology from Icon, one of the biggest companies in 3D construction. Buyers will also get a small mortgage discount, because nothing says “future” like financing incentives. Until now, banks were nervous about printed homes. People worried they wouldn’t hold value, couldn’t be insured properly, or would somehow collapse emotionally during a rainstorm. But Icon’s first large 3D printed neighborhood in Texas sold out quickly, and another bigger community is already being planned. Wells Fargo says there’s no reason these homes should lose value compared to regular houses. Which is great news for anyone hoping their future home can be built faster than an Erewhon smoothie line moves. The bigger idea here is simple: traditional housing is too expensive, too slow to build, and everybody is tired.

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Robinhood wants ChatGPT to manage your stocks. Robinhood is launching a new feature that lets AI agents buy and sell stocks for users, because apparently making bad financial decisions manually was taking too much time. Customers can connect AI tools like Claude or Cursor to a separate Robinhood account and let the bots trade based on instructions they give them. The AI can monitor markets, look for trends, manage risks, and buy stocks automatically. Robinhood says users stay in control and get notifications every time the AI makes a trade, which is comforting in the same way a smoke alarm is comforting. One example Robinhood gave: asking an AI to study startup funding, private-company valuations, and deal activity to find investment opportunities before the public catches on. So basically insider-trading cosplay for tech bros. For now, the AI can only trade stocks, but Robinhood says crypto, options, and event contracts are coming later. Because clearly society has not moved fast enough already.

Wealthy Americans want backup countries now. Wealthy Americans are increasingly getting second and third citizenships, because apparently one country no longer feels emotionally secure enough. Experts say rich clients now collect passports the same way they collect investment portfolios: as protection against political chaos, economic uncertainty, and the general feeling that the world has become slightly unhinged. One migration advisor told Forbes that Americans went from just 4% of his business in 2019 to 74% today. Another said some clients collect citizenships “like stamps,” except the stamps cost a few million dollars and come with ocean views. New Zealand has become especially popular among ultra-rich Americans because it’s English-speaking, far away, and, according to one advisor, “a pretty good place to be hanging out” if World War III happens. Relaxing! Europe is still a favorite too, although getting citizenship there is becoming harder as countries tighten rules around golden visas and foreign investment programs. Meanwhile, Caribbean citizenships remain the fastest and cheapest option for Americans looking for a quick backup plan. The easiest path, however, is ancestry. Americans with European or Canadian roots are increasingly applying for citizenship through family ties, proving once again that having grandparents from somewhere interesting can really pay off.

NYC’s homebuyers dodged another tax. New York lawmakers are likely dropping a proposed 1% tax on all-cash real estate deals over $1 million, after the idea upset the city’s real estate industry and probably several people currently renovating penthouses. The tax would have targeted wealthy buyers paying fully in cash, something that has become increasingly common in NYC because mortgage rates are high and people enjoy bypassing paperwork whenever possible. More than 60% of New York City home purchases in early 2025 were made in cash, according to housing data. Because apparently “just wire it” is now a personality type. Lawmakers were considering the tax to help fill the city’s budget hole, while also keeping Mayor Zohran Mamdani’s promise to raise taxes on wealthier residents. Critics argued the plan would hurt the housing market and said buyers would easily find loopholes anyway. A separate “pied-à-terre” tax on luxury second homes is still expected to happen. That tax would target expensive apartments worth over $5 million that mostly sit empty while regular New Yorkers fight over apartments with “charming exposed pipes.” Officials expect the second-home tax to bring in about $500 million for the city next year.

Hooters wants to be seen as a family restaurant. Hooters is trying to clean up its image and remind America that it was supposedly always meant to be a “family-friendly neighborhood restaurant,” which is definitely one way to describe it. CEO Neil Kiefer says the chain drifted too far from its original beach-bar concept after private equity firms took over parts of the business years ago. According to him, things became overly sexualized, especially the uniforms. “The girls looked like they were wearing thongs,” Kiefer basically said, adding that this was never the original vision back in the 1980s when the restaurant leaned more “sporty beach vibe” and less “Vegas pool party at 2am.” Now Hooters is trying to “re-Hooterize” its restaurants after reacquiring the brand following bankruptcy proceedings in 2025. That includes changing uniforms, fixing recipes, and convincing people the chain is actually a casual place for families and kids. Which, to be fair, apparently does happen. One New Jersey location reportedly hosted dance teams, baseball families, and “Kids Eat Free” nights… while also occasionally running bikini nights. Multifaceted establishment. Kiefer insists Hooters was always meant to be playful and tongue-in-cheek, not aggressively provocative. He says recent changes are already helping sales recover in Florida and Chicago locations. In other words, Hooters is attempting the impossible: becoming wholesome without giving up the owl logo or the breast jokes.

Ferrari officially revealed its first fully electric car this week, and reactions were… mixed. The new EV, called the Luce, was shown to Italy’s president and even Pope Leo XIV before regular people got their turn to judge it online, which they immediately did. The car has 1,000 horsepower, goes from 0 to 60 mph in 2.5 seconds, and costs around €500,000. Because if you’re going through an existential crisis about losing engine sounds, it might as well be an expensive one. Ferrari says the Luce is the future of the brand. Investors responded by sending Ferrari stock down more than 8%. Critics say the interior looks great, but many people online think the outside doesn’t feel “Ferrari” enough. The problem is simple: electric cars need giant batteries under the floor instead of giant screaming engines under the hood, which changes the shape of the car.

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Moon base construction starts before NYC fixes the subway. NASA is moving very fast with its moon plans, which is slightly concerning considering some people still can’t use Zoom correctly. Just weeks after Artemis II sent astronauts around the moon, NASA announced huge contracts for companies building moon vehicles, drones, and landers for a future moon base near the lunar south pole. Jeff Bezos’ Blue Origin will deliver moon buggies built by Astrolab and Lunar Outpost. Firefly Aerospace will bring drones to mark the edges of the future base like the world’s most expensive backyard fence project. NASA wants the equipment on the moon before astronauts land there again, possibly in 2028. Artemis III is planned for 2027 and will test docking systems between NASA’s Orion capsule and lunar landers from Blue Origin and SpaceX. Because apparently billionaires now co-own space. The long-term plan is even bigger: roads, power grids, permanent habitats, and astronauts living there for extended periods during the 2030s. NASA says the goal is scientific research and preparing for Mars.

Google’s AI still can’t spell “poop” correctly. Google’s AI search tool is once again going viral for being confidently incorrect, this time by failing extremely basic spelling tests. The AI reportedly claimed there are two Ps in the word “Google,” one R in “poop,” and two Ds in “journalism,” before spelling the word as “journadism.” Incredible technology. Truly the future. Google admitted that counting letters inside words is still a problem for large language models, which is slightly concerning considering these same systems are also being used to summarize the internet for billions of people. Researchers say the issue comes from how AI models process language. They don’t actually “read” words letter by letter the way humans do. Instead, they break text into chunks called tokens and turn them into math. Which explains why the AI can solve advanced equations but occasionally loses a fistfight against the alphabet. This isn’t Google’s first AI embarrassment either. Earlier versions of AI Overview famously told users to eat rocks and put glue on pizza after pulling nonsense from Reddit and satire websites. The bigger point here is that AI still sounds smarter than it actually is. Which, to be fair, also describes a decent percentage of LinkedIn posts.

Oura made its smart ring smaller.  Oura just unveiled its new Ring 5, a thinner and lighter smart ring starting at $399. The company says the new version is 40% smaller than the previous model, with better sensors, longer battery life, and a design meant to feel more like normal jewelry and less like a tiny futuristic ankle monitor for your finger. The ring can now last up to nine days on a charge and includes upgraded health tracking features like blood pressure signals and nighttime breathing analysis. Oura is also adding something called “Health Radar,” which continuously watches your biometric data in the background and alerts users if something looks concerning. Comforting, but also slightly dystopian. The company is pushing even further into healthcare by partnering with a medical platform that combines AI and licensed doctors directly inside the app. Users will be able to ask health questions and get medical advice, for an extra fee on top of the existing subscription, naturally. Oura says it wants the ring to appeal to more people as competition in the smart ring market heats up. Translation: everyone realized consumers prefer technology that looks discreet enough to wear to dinner.

Meta found another way to monetize oversharing. Meta is officially expanding paid subscriptions across Instagram, Facebook, and WhatsApp. The company announced new “Plus” plans starting at around $3 to $4 per month that unlock extra features like custom profile fonts, super reactions, deeper story analytics, and the ability to quietly stalk Stories without appearing as a viewer. Healthy society. Instagram Plus is clearly aimed at creators and chronically online people who need detailed analytics about who rewatched their Story at 1:12am. Subscribers will also be able to extend Stories beyond 24 hours, create unlimited audience lists, and post content without it showing up in followers’ feeds. Which honestly sounds less like social media and more like stealth mode. Meta says even more features are coming later under a broader subscription system called “Meta One,” because every tech company eventually reaches the phase where it reinvents cable packages. The company is also testing AI-focused subscriptions and business plans as it looks for new ways to make money beyond advertising.

The search for the next James Bond is officially happening, which means the internet can finally stop arguing about it hypothetically and start arguing about it professionally. Amazon MGM confirmed that casting director Nina Gold is now auditioning actors to replace Daniel Craig as 007. Gold previously worked on Game of Thrones and The Crown, so she has plenty of experience choosing emotionally damaged British people. One of the first reported auditions came from Tom Francis, a 26-year-old theater actor with a very short screen résumé and very strong cheekbones, which honestly already sounds Bond-adjacent. Meanwhile, betting markets are treating Bond casting like the Super Bowl. Current favorites include Callum Turner, Aaron Taylor-Johnson, Jacob Elordi, Henry Cavill, Jonathan Bailey, Regé-Jean Page, Theo James, and several other men who look expensive.

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Free fancy museum nights return to NYC. The Frick Collection is bringing back its monthly free late-night events, giving New Yorkers another opportunity to wander through beautiful galleries while pretending they totally understand 18th century portrait symbolism. On the first Friday of every month, visitors can explore the museum after hours, grab drinks and snacks, listen to live music, and attend talks inside one of Manhattan’s most elegant cultural spaces. The event is sponsored by Louis Vuitton, which feels extremely on brand for an evening built around quiet luxury and people saying things like “the brushwork is fascinating.” Timed tickets are recommended, although a limited number of walk-ins will be allowed. Children under 10 are not admitted, which honestly improves the odds of hearing the live music over an iPad at full volume.

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TikTok of the day: watch here

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