Good morning. It’s March 4, and Tuesday has the audacity to show up again. We’ve officially entered the month when winter finally starts packing its bags—slowly, reluctantly. But we’ll take it.

Meanwhile, it’s Women’s History Month—the annual reminder that women have been running the show forever while history conveniently forgot to mention it. Cute.

Read on, enjoy the news, and may the weather stop gaslighting us soon.

Today’s stories:

• Anora dominates Oscars, Zoe Saldaña makes history

• Firefly Aerospace lands Moon mission successfully

• Bezos’ fiancée and Katy Perry go spacebound

• Instagram plans another TikTok copy-paste

• Rolls-Royce profits soar, stocks follow suit

• Trump backs crypto, market loses control

• Prada eyes Versace, but at a markdown

  and more…

Wall Street took another hit Monday as investors braced for Trump’s tariffs on Canada and Mexico. The Dow cratered 650 points (-1.48%), after nearly nosediving 900 points earlier. The S&P 500 logged its worst day of the year (-1.76%), while the Nasdaq tumbled 2.64%, now down 6.5% since Trump took office.

Warren Buffett isn’t impressed, calling tariffs an “act of war” that could fuel inflation. Judging by the market’s reaction, it seems investors agree—because nothing screams confidence like another selloff.

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Trump Pumps Crypto, Market Takes the Bait

Trump decided the U.S. should hoard crypto, and the market lost its mind. He announced a “Crypto Strategic Reserve” filled with Bitcoin, Ether, and a few random altcoins like XRP, Solana, and Cardano—because sure, why not. Crypto prices shot up instantly. Bitcoin hit $95K after barely scraping $80K last week. Altcoins went wild too. Then reality set in, and the hype wore off.

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Prada wants Versace—at a discount. Prada is eyeing Versace for €1.5 billion, which sounds impressive until you remember Michael Kors (now called Capri Holdings, because rebrands fix everything) paid $2.1 billion for it in 2018. Bad investment? Looks like it. Versace has been struggling—revenues are down, losses are up, and unlike Louis Vuitton, it doesn’t have a never-ending supply of overpriced luggage to keep sales afloat. Meanwhile, Donatella Versace’s future with the brand is anyone’s guess. If the deal happens, it would bring Versace back to Italian ownership under Miuccia Prada, who has been running Prada since the 1970s. She casually acknowledged the whole thing during Milan Fashion Week, saying the deal was “on everyone’s table.” Very casual for a billion-euro purchase.

Rolls-Royce hits record high. Rolls-Royce stock just hit a record high after the company made an obscene £2.46 billion in profit last year—57% more than before. They smashed targets two years early, so now they’re aiming for up to £3.9 billion. To celebrate, they’re throwing £1 billion at a stock buyback and, after five years, finally tossing shareholders a tiny 6p dividend. Citi analysts called the results “very strong.” No kidding, Sherlock.

Another Private Company Lands on the Moon

Texas-based Firefly Aerospace just dropped its Blue Ghost lander on the Moon, because apparently, private companies are handling space now. Launched on a SpaceX rocket in January, it spent weeks floating around, taking pretty pictures before finally touching down Sunday morning. Its onboard tech collected data on radiation and magnetic fields—useful for future missions that might want to avoid, you know, frying their computers in deep space.

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Instagram desperately wants to be TikTok. Instagram might be pulling Reels out of the main app and slapping it into its own standalone app—because copying TikTok once wasn’t enough, now they need to do it again. If it happens, the new app would be a straight-up TikTok clone—full-screen scrolling, endless short videos, same old formula. But Meta-branded, of course. Reels now run up to 3 minutes, so maybe Instagram thinks that’s enough to justify an entirely separate app. Or maybe it’s just having another identity crisis.

Jeff Bezos is sending Katy Perry to space. Blue Origin is sending an all-female crew to space this spring, because why not? The lineup includes singer Katy Perry, CBS host Gayle King, ex-NASA engineer Aisha Bowe, research scientist Amanda Nguyen, film producer Kerianne Flynn, and Lauren Sánchez—aka Jeff Bezos’ fiancée. The flight lasts 11 minutes and crosses the Kármán line (the edge of space, apparently). No pilots needed. No space knowledge required. Just vibes. This will be the first time in 62 years that women go to space without a man hovering nearby. The last time was 1963, when Soviet cosmonaut Valentina Tereshkova did it alone. Took six decades, but here we are.

Meta wants its own ChatGPT. Meta is making its AI chatbot a standalone app, because apparently stuffing it into Facebook, Instagram, and WhatsApp wasn’t enough. The app drops later this year, with Mark Zuckerberg on a mission to make Meta the AI king before 2025. Meta AI launched in 2023, then took over search bars in April like an uninvited guest. Now, Zuckerberg wants a billion people using it, because bigger is always better.

Robots are moving in. Good luck. Figure wants humanoid robots in homes by 2025, because clearly, the future isn’t arriving fast enough. CEO Brett Adcock says the company’s Figure 02 robot will start “alpha testing” in real homes next year, thanks to its fancy AI model, Helix. Helix is supposed to help the robots learn tasks faster using vision, language, and actions. Basically, it watches, listens, and figures things out—like a toddler, but made of metal. Earlier this month, Figure ditched its partnership with OpenAI to go all-in on its own tech. Now, it’s racing to put robots in living rooms. What could possibly go wrong?

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Oscars Recap: History Made, Tears Shed

The 97th Academy Awards happened, and Anora took over, winning five trophies, including Best Picture and Best Director. Sean Baker, the film’s mastermind, walked away with four Oscars, tying Walt Disney’s one-night record—except Baker actually won them for the same movie.

Emilia Pérez led the night with 13 nominations but only managed two wins.

Zoe Saldaña made history as the first Dominican-American to win an Oscar, grabbing Best Supporting Actress for Emilia Pérez. Meanwhile, Wicked and The Brutalist rolled in with 10 nominations each but left with less than they hoped.

Adrian Brody won his second Best Actor Oscar for The Brutalist, keeping Timothée Chalamet from breaking his youngest-winner record. Sebastian Stan could’ve made history as the first person to win Best Actor for playing a sitting U.S. president, but the Academy wasn’t feeling that bold.

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TikTok of the day: watch here