Good morning. 

It’s Tuesday, August 19 — and here in New York the air suddenly feels crisp, and the sweaters in your closet start whispering your name. Don’t fall for it. The city’s just buttering you up before dropping another heat wave in your lap next week.

On this day in 1883, Coco Chanel was born. She spent nearly six decades rewriting fashion’s rulebook, proving that elegance could be effortless and casual could be couture. Basically, she invented looking good without looking like you tried.

So grab your coffee, pretend the breeze isn’t lying to you, and settle in. Have a good read.

Today’s stories:

• Scientists film embryos bulldozing into womb

• Secondhand Rolexes outshine new models

• Soho House ditches Wall Street spotlight

• OpenAI eyes half-trillion valuation, again

• U.S. finally gets “faster” 160-mph trains

• Zuckerberg spends $27M to feel safe

• Horror hit “Weapons” tops box office

• JFK adds MoMA, Met, and murals

  and more…

Markets mostly snoozed through Monday, finishing flat as traders waited on retail earnings and Jerome Powell’s annual Jackson Hole sermon. The Dow slipped 34 points, the S&P barely moved, and the Nasdaq squeaked out a 0.03% gain. Tech dragged the party down, with Meta off 2.3% and Microsoft slipping 0.6%. All eyes now turn to Home Depot, Lowe’s, Walmart, and Target for clues on whether U.S. shoppers are still swiping — while tariffs, pricey valuations, and cooling job growth keep everyone just a little nervous about the second half of the year.

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$27M Security Bill Proves Zuck Is the Most Punchable CEO

Meta is spending more to guard Mark Zuckerberg than Apple, Microsoft, Amazon, Alphabet, and Nvidia spend on their CEOs combined. In 2024, Zuck’s personal security tab hit $27 million — up from $24M the year before. That covers his houses, family, travel, and probably anyone unlucky enough to make eye contact with him in Hawaii. For comparison: Tim Cook got $1.4M worth of protection, Sundar Pichai $6.8M, Andy Jassy $1.1M, Jensen Huang $3.5M, and Elon Musk a laughable $500K (though let’s be real, Elon basically owns his own security force). Add them all up, and it’s still less than Zuckerberg’s paranoia budget. In fairness, Zuckerberg has plenty of enemies — angry parents, privacy hawks, Hawaiian activists, and everyone who still remembers FarmVille notifications. But when your security bill looks like a blockbuster movie budget, maybe the problem isn’t just “the haters.”

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OpenAI aims for half a trillion. OpenAI’s cash machine keeps printing. The AI shop is in talks to sell $6 billion worth of employee stock in a deal that would value the company at a cool $500 billion — half a trillion dollars for a chatbot that sometimes gaslights you about basic facts. SoftBank, Thrive Capital, and Dragoneer are circling the deal, with Thrive likely to lead. This comes after March’s record $40 billion raise at a $300 billion valuation, plus another $8.3 billion earlier this month. Apparently, investors can’t shovel money fast enough into a company whose latest rollout, GPT-5, is already annoying users who miss GPT-4o. Sam Altman admitted they underestimated how much people liked the old model’s “vibe,” proving once again that AI may be advanced, but it’s still just customer service with extra steps.

Soho House leaves Wall Street. Soho House is done pretending Wall Street likes it. The exclusive-members-club operator is going private in a $2.7 billion deal led by MCR Hotels, after a messy three-year stint as a public company where profits were as elusive as its guest list. Shareholders get $9 a share, a small premium and maybe a free Negroni if they’re lucky. The plot twist: Ashton Kutcher is joining the board. Meanwhile, founder Nick Jones and Ron Burkle keep control, because exclusivity isn’t exclusive unless the same people run it forever. Soho launched in 1995 above a London restaurant as a spot for “creatives,” but it turns out being exclusive and chic doesn’t automatically equal being profitable. 

Secondhand timepieces are the only thing keeping the industry on time. Luxury watches aren’t exactly ticking along, but the used ones are keeping time just fine. The secondhand watch market just had its best run since early 2022, with the Bloomberg Subdial Watch Index climbing 5.3% in the first half of 2025 and still rising into Q3. Rolex’s gold Daytona and Patek Philippe’s Aquanaut are the stars — because nothing says “quiet luxury” like spending six figures on someone else’s wrist candy. Meanwhile, the new watch market is struggling thanks to U.S. tariffs, a sluggish Asia, and record gold prices that make fresh models even pricier. The appeal of secondhand lies in absent waitlists, no boutique gatekeeping, and instant delivery — because apparently we live in a world where “patience” is harder to come by than a Daytona. The broader luxury watch industry, though, is still in a slump, proving even rich people are cutting back… unless it’s resale.

Human Life Begins With a Body Slam, Apparently

Scientists just filmed a human embryo body-slamming into a fake uterus. In a new time-lapse, researchers watched a microscopic embryo grab, pull, and basically bulldoze its way into a lab-made uterine lining — turning “nesting” into full-on home renovation. This moment is crucial for reproduction but nearly impossible to watch in real life, since, well, it happens inside the body. So the Barcelona team built a replica lining, hit record, and let nature do its messy, determined thing. Turns out implantation isn’t delicate — it’s brute force biology.

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U.S. rail travel, now slightly less embarrassing. After three years of “just kidding” delays, Amtrak finally set a date: the fancy new NextGen Acela trains start rolling on August 28, 2025. That’s right — the U.S. is about to experience slightly faster trains, topping out at a mind-blowing 160 mph. (Europe and Asia are already laughing from their 200+ mph bullet trains.) The shiny new fleet promises 27% more seats, winged headrests, personal outlets, and even 5G Wi-Fi — so you can doomscroll smoothly between D.C. and Boston. Five trains will launch first, with all 28 in place by 2027. The old Acela fleet from 2000 will slowly get retired, much like the patience of anyone who’s been waiting since the original 2022 launch date. 

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JFK Turns Into a Museum

JFK is trying to distract you from flight delays with fine art. The Port Authority and JFK Millennium Partners are teaming up with MoMA, the Met, Lincoln Center, and the American Museum of Natural History to fill the $4.2 billion Terminal 6 with high culture. Incoming travelers will stroll past Yoko Ono installations, 140-foot Lincoln Center murals, Met pieces spanning 5,000 years, and even science-inspired art from AMNH — all before their luggage goes missing. Public Art Fund is also curating 19 permanent installations, plus rotating local works. Translation: JFK wants to look like a museum, but you’ll still pay $20 for a sad sandwich and wait three hours for your plane. The first six gates open this year, the rest by 2028. Until then, enjoy your culture with a side of chaos.

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Weekend belongs to “Weapons”. “Weapons” is still killing it at the box office. Zach Cregger’s horror flick pulled in $25 million its second weekend — down 43% from its debut, but still enough to keep the crown. Social media buzz and good reviews helped it scare off both Disney’s “Freakier Friday” ($14.5M) and Bob Odenkirk’s “Nobody 2” ($9.25M), which stumbled in its debut.

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TikTok of the day: watch here

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