Good morning.

It’s Thursday, November 6. Day 37 of the government shutdown — officially the longest in U.S. history. The country’s still running on vibes, national parks are closed, federal workers are unpaid, but don’t worry — Congress still gets lunch breaks.

Thanksgiving’s around the corner, which means soon we’ll all be arguing about politics over dry turkey instead of watching politicians argue about it on TV.

So here’s to another week of delayed pay, early Black Friday ads, and pretending gratitude fixes everything. Grab your coffee, maybe a side of stuffing, and hang in there — the week’s almost cooked.

Today’s stories:

• Labubu joins Macy’s Thanksgiving Parade chaos

• Kimberly-Clark buys Tylenol drama for $40B

• Egypt finally opens its billion-dollar museum

• Toyota recalls 1M cars over blank cameras

• Bitcoin whales dump $45B, market panics

• iOS 26.1 fixes everything you didn’t notice

• Bezos adds $24B after Amazon’s AI boom

• Finneas drops unstreamable hit for Apple

• Coca-Cola’s AI Christmas ad melts down

• Rolex moves into Williamsburg, naturally

• WhatsApp finally lands on Apple Watch

• America’s first home now starts at 40

  and more…

Wall Street caught a breather Wednesday as hopes rose that Trump’s hefty tariffs might soon get trimmed. The Supreme Court’s sharp questioning on whether the former president even had the authority to impose them sent traders into optimism mode.

The Dow added 226 points, the S&P 500 climbed 0.4%, and the Nasdaq led with a 0.65% gain. AI and chip stocks — including AMD — bounced back after a valuation hangover earlier in the week.

During the hearing, justices from both sides pressed Solicitor General D. John Sauer on Trump’s use of the International Emergency Economic Powers Act to justify the tariffs. Translation: even the court’s conservatives looked skeptical, and markets liked that.

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Bitcoin Whales Start Dumping $45B 

Big Bitcoin holders are cashing out hard. Around 400,000 BTC — worth roughly $45 billion — just hit the market, sending prices tumbling below $100K for the first time since June. That’s a 20% drop from last month’s high, and traders are sweating. Analysts say the whales’ sell-off signals something worse than a random crash: fading faith. Options traders are now piling into $80K puts, basically betting Bitcoin still has room to fall. 

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America’s starter home now starts at 40. First-time homebuyers in the US are now a median age of 40. Blame record prices, spiky mortgage rates, and wages that forgot to grow. In 2021 it was 33; in 1981 it was 29. Now younger buyers are stuck renting while older, richer folks roll in with fat down payments—or just pay cash. First-timers made up only 21% of purchases, the lowest on record. NAR says losing a decade of ownership can cost about $150k in missed starter-home equity. 

Kimberly-Clark buys Tylenol’s drama for $40B. Kleenex and Huggies are about to share a house with Tylenol. Kimberly-Clark just dropped $40 billion to buy Kenvue—the company behind Tylenol, Band-Aid, and a year’s worth of bad press. Kenvue’s stock tanked after the Trump administration pushed unproven claims that Tylenol causes autism, which made this deal a bargain for Kimberly-Clark. Investors loved it… sort of. Kenvue’s stock jumped 15%, while Kimberly-Clark’s sank 10%. The merger will make a $32 billion-a-year giant—and probably a few thousand pink slips richer, thanks to $2 billion in “synergies.”

Jeff Bezos just made $24 billion in a day. Jeff Bezos woke up $24 billion richer after Amazon stock rocketed 11.5% on Friday to a record high. The company crushed earnings expectations, pulling in $180 billion in revenue thanks to its AI gold rush and AWS printing money like it’s 2021 again. Amazon’s cloud unit grew 20% year-over-year, and its shiny new $11 billion AI data center for Anthropic didn’t hurt either. Bezos now lounges on a $259 billion fortune — third-richest in the world, turning wealth accumulation into a competitive sport.

Toyota recalls 1M cars because the cameras forgot to work. Toyota is recalling 1.02 million vehicles in the U.S. because the rearview cameras sometimes freeze or go blank — not ideal when you’re backing up. The glitch affects 2022–2026 models of Camry, RAV4, Prius, Highlander, and a bunch of Lexus SUVs, plus the Subaru Solterra. The issue violates federal safety rules, since “guess and reverse” isn’t an approved driving method. Dealers will fix it with a software update. It’s not just Toyota — Ford and Stellantis have had their own rear-camera flops lately. 

iOS 26.1: The Update You Didn’t Know You Needed

Apple dropped iOS 26.1, and it’s one of those updates that fixes all the things you didn’t know were broken. The new version lets you tone down that “Liquid Glass” effect (aka the screen that looked like your phone was sweating), adds a slide-to-stop alarm so you stop oversleeping, and finally kills accidental camera launches from your pocket. You can now swipe to skip songs in Apple Music and use Apple’s AI—sorry, “Apple Intelligence”—in way more languages. Basically, fewer mistakes, and more control.

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Finneas just dropped a hit you can’t stream. Finneas just made the world’s shortest hit: a few seconds of sound that’ll play before every Apple Original. It’s called a “mnemonic,” which is corporate for “audio logo.” Think NBC chimes, but more expensive. Apple basically paid the guy behind Billie Eilish’s songs to create the new “bloop” you’ll hear before binging Ted Lasso for the fifth time. It’s the kind of gig where no one remembers your name, but everyone hears your work—10 times in one night.

Coca-Cola proves AI still can’t do Christmas right. Coke brought back its iconic “Holidays Are Coming” ad — but this time, AI drove the truck, and it shows. In the 2025 remake, the shiny red Coca-Cola trucks morph mid-drive, randomly gain or lose wheels, and at one point nearly plow into a crowd. The internet noticed, and not kindly: “I miss pre-AI internet,” wrote one viewer. The ad accidentally proves what AI video still can’t do — remember what it just drew. It’s festive chaos wrapped in digital dementia, and honestly, kind of poetic for 2025.

WhatsApp finally lands on Apple Watch. After years of “soon,” WhatsApp finally showed up on your wrist. The new Apple Watch app lets you read full messages, send voice replies, react, and even see chat history—basically everything short of blocking your ex mid-run. You’ll also get call notifications and sharper images and stickers, all wrapped in that sweet end-to-end encryption Meta won’t shut up about. It works on Apple Watch Series 4 or newer, and yes, it only took WhatsApp a decade to figure this out.

Labubu join Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade

This Thanksgiving, the streets of Manhattan get invaded by inflatable chaos: Pop Mart’s “Monsters,” including the internet-famous Labubu. The cult-favorite plushie from Beijing—so popular it got its own knockoffs—is now going full American dream, floating past cheering crowds at the 99th Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade. The float, “Friendsgiving in Pop City,” marks the brand’s U.S. debut and guarantees at least one confused grandma asking, “What’s a Labubu?”

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Egypt finally opens its $1B time capsule. After 33 years of delays, Egypt finally cut the ribbon on the Grand Egyptian Museum — a $1 billion monument to “better late than never.” Just a mile from the Pyramids of Giza, it’s the world’s largest archaeological museum, stuffed with 100,000 artifacts and enough gold to make Midas blush. The main event: all 5,500 pieces of King Tut’s treasure are finally together, from his golden mask to his blinged-out chariots. Think of it as Egypt’s ultimate unboxing video — only 3,000 years late.

Williamsburg gets its own Rolex, because obviously. Brooklyn’s bougiest neighborhood just got even shinier — Rolex is opening its first-ever store in Williamsburg. The Swiss watchmaker signed a 15-year lease on North 6th Street, right between Hermès and Chanel. The 3,700-square-foot shop cements the area’s glow-up from warehouse chic to full luxury strip mall. Need your watch serviced? Still gotta go to Manhattan. But don’t worry — you can sip a $9 oat latte while pretending you’re on Swiss time.

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TikTok of the day: watch here

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