Good morning,

It’s Thursday, September 25, and apparently fall in New York has decided to cosplay as late August. The National Weather Service says we’ve got a 40–50% chance of a warmer-than-average season, which feels like meteorologist-speak for “don’t put away your iced coffee yet.” Of course, the Old Farmer’s Almanac insists October will be cooler and drier, but let’s be honest—this thing makes predictions based on a “secret formula.” Translation: a vibe check from 200 years ago. Cute, but maybe not the forecast you want to bet your trench coat on.

Here’s to a warm fall, a cooler inbox, and a good read.

Today’s stories:

• Ford woos subprime buyers with cheaper truck loans

• Ben Stiller launches nostalgia-inspired soda brand

• Waymo launches self-driving rides for businesses

• OpenAI’s $100B data center spooks Wall Street

• Microsoft adds Anthropic’s Claude to Copilot

• Mars rock hints at possible ancient microbes

• Gold soars as chaos fuels safe-haven rush

• Macron calls Trump after NYC traffic stop

• NASA picks 10 new astronaut recruits
  

  and more…

The S&P 500 fell 0.28% to 6,637.97 on Wednesday, weighed down by back-to-back losses in artificial intelligence heavyweights. The Nasdaq Composite slid 0.34% to 22,497.86, while the Dow Jones Industrial Average dropped 171.50 points, or 0.37%, to 46,121.28.

Nvidia shed nearly 1%, extending Tuesday’s decline as investor unease grew around the potentially “circular” nature of the AI boom, despite its recent $100 billion partnership with OpenAI. Oracle was also under pressure, losing almost 2% for a second straight session.

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Ford Bets on Risky Borrowers

Ford wants more F-150s off the lot, so it’s dangling sweet financing deals for buyers with sketchy credit. Subprime customers—normally stuck with 18–20% loan rates—are now getting offers closer to what “good credit” folks pay. Translation: Ford would rather risk a few defaults than sit on unsold trucks. The F-150 isn’t just any truck—it’s Ford’s golden goose. Sales are up for the year but slipped last month, and with sticker prices running $39K to $100K, moving inventory takes more than cowboy ads and tailgate features. So Ford Credit is giving risky buyers the keys and hoping the repo guy doesn’t get called too often.

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Gold hits record high, because doom is profitable. Gold just broke another record, hitting $3,759 an ounce, because apparently the world is on fire and people like shiny things when that happens. Wars, inflation fears, Trump drama, central banks panic-buying—it’s all fuel for the rally. The Fed cutting rates doesn’t hurt either, since suddenly hoarding gold looks smarter than holding cash. Analysts say the run might cool short term, but for now, gold is the “do nothing, get rich” asset of choice.

OpenAI Stargate launches into investor panic. OpenAI just flipped the switch on its first “Stargate” mega–data center in Texas, packed with Nvidia chips and Oracle servers. Perfect timing—because Wall Street suddenly decided maybe the AI money-printing machine isn’t sustainable. Nvidia and Oracle stocks dipped right after the big $100B hype announcement. Investors are side-eyeing the project’s energy bill—roughly 17 nuclear plants worth—and whispering “dot-com bubble” like it’s 1999 again. Powell didn’t help, muttering about overvalued equities and stagflation. Sam Altman brushed it off, saying “this is what it takes.” Translation: burn through trillions, build space-age server farms, and hope people don’t notice the lights flickering.

Waymo is getting into corporate travel. Alphabet’s robotaxi arm just launched Waymo for Business, letting companies set up accounts so employees can expense self-driving rides in LA, Phoenix, and San Francisco. Firms can subsidize trips or hand out bulk promo codes to clients, because nothing says “we value you” like a coupon for a car with no driver. Carvana is already onboard, which is fitting since it sells cars people barely want to drive themselves. The app stays the same, but now your boss gets to control the robotaxi tab. 

Astronaut Bootcamp Welcomes 10 Lucky Nerds

NASA just showed off 10 new astronaut candidates—four men, six women—picked from 8,000 people who think “astronaut” looks good on LinkedIn. They’ll train for two years, maybe end up on the ISS, the Moon, or Mars if SpaceX doesn’t steal their ride first. This class is history-making: more women than men. You’ve got fighter jet pilots, doctors, geologists, and even a former SpaceX launch director. For now, these ten get two years of astronaut bootcamp. Then, if they’re lucky, they’ll spend months in orbit eating vacuum-packed lasagna and tweeting sunrise photos.

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Microsoft cheats on OpenAI with Claude. Microsoft just opened the door to OpenAI’s rival Anthropic inside Microsoft 365 Copilot. Claude Sonnet 4 and Claude Opus 4.1 are now options alongside OpenAI’s models, because apparently even trillion-dollar companies need a backup plan. Users will see a shiny new “Try Claude” button in apps like Researcher. Click it, and suddenly you’re not tied to Sam Altman’s chips anymore. Copilot Studio will also let businesses mix and match Anthropic, OpenAI, and whatever else Microsoft can cram into Azure. It’s marketed as “choice,” but really it’s Microsoft hedging its bets. When AI hype wobbles, better to juggle rivals than marry just one.

Mars rock shows life signs, or just bad lighting. NASA’s Perseverance rover may have just sniffed out the closest thing to Martian life yet. A rock sample nicknamed “Sapphire Canyon” from Jezero Crater shows chemical “leopard spots” that could be leftovers from ancient microbes—or, you know, just boring geology. The minerals look suspiciously like the kind Earth microbes leave behind, but they can also form without life. So it’s either proof we’re not alone in the universe… or proof Mars rocks are trolls. Either way, scientists are hyped, papers got published, and the “are we alone” crowd has new slides for their TED talks.

Macron Blocked by NYPD

Macron tried to cross a NYC street, but the cops told him no—because Trump’s motorcade was coming through. Instead of waiting like the rest of us peasants, Macron called Trump directly. Yes, he literally phoned the traffic jam. Trump picked up, proving once again he has more time for petty sidewalk drama than actual governing. Macron used the chance to chat politics, because if life hands you a red light, you might as well negotiate world peace. A few minutes later, the street reopened. 

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Ben Stiller carbonates his career. Ben Stiller is now a soda mogul. His brand Stiller’s promises “better-for-you” bubbles with only 30 calories, no sugar bomb, and three safe flavors: Shirley Temple, Lemon Lime, and Root Beer. Basically, nostalgia in a can, but diet-friendly. It sells exclusively on Amazon, $30 for a 12-pack. That’s $2.50 a can to pretend you’re healthy while still drinking soda. Stiller went from Zoolander to boutique soda salesman, proving Hollywood careers never really end, they just get carbonated.

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TikTok of the day:  watch here

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