Moon now has better Wi-Fi than you

New Macbook Air. Alexa finally gets a brain. Americans get UK citizenship. Austin rent crashed.

Good morning. It’s Thursday, March 6—the day of the week that exists solely to remind you the weekend isn’t here yet. Brutal.

Fun fact: on this day in 1924, a group of archaeologists cracked open King Tut’s mummy case. Because humans never learn. The tomb had been chilling—sealed, untouched—for over 3,000 years, but curiosity won (as it always does). Ever seen The Mummy? They hadn’t. That said, King Tut’s tomb is still the most intact royal Egyptian tomb ever found, giving historians a ton of valuable information about ancient Egypt.

Anyway, we hope you have a good read, an even better day, and that you, personally, will resist the urge to open any ancient, possibly cursed relics you might come across.

Today’s stories:

  • NASA and Nokia bring 4G to the Moon before rural America

  • BlackRock locks down key Panama Canal ports

  • Americans flee to UK every time Trump wins

  • Stressed chimps handle conflict… intimately

  • TSMC drops $100B on U.S. chip plants

  • Top 10% of earners fuel U.S. economy

    and more…

Stock market

Crypto

Wall Street bounced back Wednesday after two brutal days, as investors clung to hope that Trump’s tariff tantrum might come with loopholes. Automakers just got a free pass, and now everyone’s wondering who’s next in line for a special exemption.

The Dow shot up 529 points (1.2%), clawing back some dignity after a 1,300-point nosedive. The S&P 500 and Nasdaq followed suit, rising 1.3% and 1.6%—because apparently, all it takes to stop a losing streak is a little political favoritism.

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BlackRock Snatches Up Panama Canal Ports in $23B Deal

BlackRock and friends just sealed a $23 billion deal to take control of two key Panama Canal ports. Hong Kong-based CK Hutchison Holdings agreed to sell its port-operating units, handing over control of 43 ports in 23 countries, including in Mexico, the Netherlands, Egypt, Australia, and Pakistan. The new owners—BlackRock, Global Infrastructure Partners, and Terminal Investment Limited—now hold a 90% stake in Panama Ports Company, locking down the Balboa and Cristobal ports.

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TSMC pumps $100B into U.S. chip plants. TSMC is dropping $100 billion to build five new chip plants in the U.S. More American-made semiconductors mean TSMC avoids the tariffs Trump has been threatening, as he pushes to bring manufacturing stateside and flex U.S. trade dominance. With this expansion, TSMC’s total U.S. investment hits $165 billion. The announcement came from the White House, with Trump, Commerce Secretary Gina Raimondo, and a couple of AI and crypto guys in attendance.

The U.S. economy is powered by the richest 10%. The top 10% of earners now account for almost half of all U.S. consumer spending, making America’s economy more dependent than ever on the ultra-wealthy swiping their AmEx cards. These $250K+ households aren’t just spending wages—they’re funneling stock market gains and real estate profits into luxury brands and high-end services. If they stop spending, the economy feels it.

Austin rent prices crash. Austin’s building boom just handed renters a big win—rents have dropped 22% since their peak in summer 2023. Once an affordable haven, Austin saw prices skyrocket in 2021 as companies and young workers flooded in. But aggressive development and housing policies have flipped the script, forcing landlords to compete for tenants instead of the other way around. Now nearly every apartment is offering move-in specials just to fill units. Austin still has BBQ, and no state income tax, but now, it finally has something else: affordable housing.

New MacBook Air: Now in Blue

Apple just dropped a new MacBook Air—now with the M4 chip, 18-hour battery life, and… drumroll… a new sky blue color. It’s thinner, lighter, and finally supports two external displays, which is great if you love spending money on Apple accessories. Starting at $999 ($100 less than before, wow, thanks) or $899 for students, Apple swears this is the best value ever. Pre-orders are open now, with availability starting March 12. So if you’ve been waiting for a reason to upgrade, congrats, Apple just gave you one: a slightly different shade of blue.

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Better cell service… on the moon? NASA and Nokia just set up 4G on the Moon. This Lunar Surface Communication System will let rovers and landers text each other (or whatever space robots do), using the same tech as Earth’s cell networks. It’s basically a WiFi router in a box, built to survive radiation, extreme temps, and rocket rides. Nokia says this is just step one, and soon, the Moon could have full-blown wireless coverage under NASA’s Artemis program. So, great news: the Moon will have better cell service before half of rural America does.

Alexa is finally getting smarter. Amazon just gave Alexa an upgrade with Alexa Plus, because after a decade of being a glorified egg timer, she needed it. Now she can book restaurants, text the babysitter, plan trips, and actually understand you without repeating “Alexa” like a broken record. Now, Amazon is finally trying to make her an actual personal assistant. There’s even a revamped Alexa app and a brand-new alexa.com website where you can chat with her from your keyboard. 

BYD cars now come with a built-in drone launcher. BYD now lets you launch a drone from your car. The Chinese EV maker teamed up with DJI to create “Lingyuan”, a roof-mounted drone system that lets you deploy, track, and recharge a drone like you’re in a sci-fi movie—or planning a heist. For $2,197, you can send a drone up mid-drive, have it follow your car at 54 km/h, and automatically return within 2 km. For now, it’s China-only, but let’s be honest—some influencer is already plotting their next road trip vlog.

Americans Rush for UK Citizenship 

A record 6,100 Americans applied for UK citizenship in 2024, with applications spiking in the last three months—right after Trump won re-election. That’s the highest number since records began in 2004, more than doubling the demand from two decades ago. The last time Americans bailed this hard was 2020, when 5,800 renounced their U.S. citizenship after the first Trump presidency. The trend is clear: every time Trump wins, more Americans start practicing their British accents.

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When chimps get stressed, things get... intimate. When tensions rise over food, chimps and bonobos have a go-to stress relief method—rubbing their genitals together. Forget fights; these apes handle food competition with a little extra bonding time. Researchers observed 201 cases in chimps and 107 in bonobos just minutes before feeding time, proving that when stakes are high, so are the chances of some… intimate conflict resolution. Turns out, chimps aren’t so different from their hypersexual bonobo cousins—or, let’s be honest, from humans.

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TikTok of the day: watch here

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