Good morning. It’s March 13th. Thursday—so close to the weekend, you can almost taste it.

On this day in 1781, some guy with way too much free time, William Herschel, discovered Uranus. He wasn’t even sure what he was looking at—first, he thought it was a comet, then a star. Turns out, it was an entire planet. Imagine being so bored that you just find a new planet. Honestly, how did people in the past even make discoveries? No TikTok. No infinite doomscrolling. Just pure, uninterrupted time to stare at the sky for hours.

Anyway, one more day till Friday. Hang in there—the finish line is near.

Today’s stories:

• Ex-Google CEO joins space race—billionaire rite of passage

• Comedy club bans Botox—frozen faces kill the vibe

• Denzel & Jake’s Othello breaks Broadway records

• Amtrak trolls Southwest for ditching free bags

• Spotify & Nvidia to office return: “Hard pass.”

• GTA 6 price leaks—$100? Gamers are fuming

• China's DeepSeek AI sparks corporate hype

  and more…

U.S. stocks mostly ended higher Wednesday after fresh data showed inflation cooled more than expected in February, easing economic worries.

The Nasdaq jumped 1.22% to 17,648.45 as investors snapped up beaten-down tech stocks. The S&P 500 followed with a 0.49% gain to 5,599.30, while the Dow lagged, slipping 82.55 points to 41,350.93.

Despite a rough week, tech stocks rebounded to lift the market. Nvidia surged 6.4%, AMD climbed over 4%, Meta rose 2%, and Tesla soared more than 7%. Seems like Wall Street wasn’t quite done with its favorite high-flyers.

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Amtrak Trolls Southwest Over Free Baggage Perk

After Southwest Airlines killed its free checked bag policy, Amtrak wasted no time. "Guess we're the only ones doing free baggage now," the train company posted on X, basking in the glory of not being an airline. Unlike most carriers, Amtrak still lets passengers bring one personal item and two carry-ons for free, as long as they stay under weight limits (25 lbs. for personal, 50 lbs. for carry-ons). 

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Salesforce pours $1B into AI. Salesforce is dropping $1 billion in Singapore over the next five years to boost its AI game. CEO Marc Benioff made the announcement at some fancy business summit, claiming the move will help “accelerate digital transformation” (a.k.a. sell more AI stuff). The company is pushing its AI tool, Agentforce, hard—probably because Microsoft is breathing down its neck. Everyone in tech is going all-in on AI, especially with Trump back in the White House and companies scrambling to grab market share from OpenAI.

Spotify, Nvidia, and others still saying ‘nah’ to RTO. While big bosses like Trump and Jamie Dimon are pushing hardcore return-to-office (RTO) rules, companies like Spotify and Nvidia are standing firm on remote and hybrid work. Some execs think forcing employees back is outdated—Mindbody CEO Fritz Lanman even compared it to faxing instead of emailing (ouch). Meanwhile, employees still love flexible work, and companies offering it have a major hiring edge.

Ex-Google CEO Joins the Space Race

Eric Schmidt, Google’s former CEO, just landed a new gig—running rocket startup Relativity Space. He’s replacing co-founder Tim Ellis as CEO, because apparently, every tech billionaire eventually gets into space. Schmidt joins Elon Musk (SpaceX), Jeff Bezos (Blue Origin), and ex-Amazon exec Dave Limp (also Blue Origin) in the race to leave Earth behind. Relativity Space is known for launching the first 3D-printed rocket—which, fun fact, didn’t actually make it very far. Now, they’re betting on the Terran R, a reusable heavy-lift rocket set to launch in late 2026. Another day, another billionaire trying to escape the planet.

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Google’s “most powerful” AI. Google just dropped Gemma 3, calling it the most powerful AI you can run on a single GPU—basically, high-performance AI that doesn’t need a supercomputer. Unlike its predecessors, this model can handle text, images, and short videos, making it a solid choice for developers working across devices, from phones to workstations. Google claims it outperforms Meta’s Llama, DeepSeek, and OpenAI when running on a single GPU. Plus, it comes with a new safety filter (ShieldGemma 2) to keep things PG by blocking explicit or violent content.

China’s DeepSeek hype. DeepSeek fever is sweeping China, with companies from video game developers to nuclear power plants scrambling to integrate the AI model—whether they actually need it or not. Over the past two months, automakers, banks, pharma companies, and even government offices have jumped on the DeepSeek bandwagon, hyping up their AI adoption to boost stock prices and flex national pride. Some are finding real uses for it, others just want the publicity points. It’s giving ChatGPT 2022 energy, when every Western company suddenly needed AI—whether or not they had a plan.

The Guy Who Turns Walking Into a Masterpiece

Simon Beck, a 60-year-old with way too much patience, spends hours trudging through snow to create massive, intricate designs using only his feet. A former cartographer with an engineering degree from Oxford (casual flex), Beck has been at this for a decade, turning snow and sand into temporary masterpieces.

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Denzel & Jake’s Othello just made broadway history. The Othello revival starring Denzel Washington and Jake Gyllenhaal just became Broadway’s highest-grossing play, pulling in $2.8 million in a single week. That’s more than Harry Potter and the Cursed Child ever made in eight performances—and it’s only in previews. The show is already selling out every seat at the Barrymore Theatre, and with a strictly limited run until June 8, good luck getting a ticket.

GTA 6 price rumors are making gamers furious. The GTA 6 hype train is rolling, but so are the price rumors—and fans aren’t happy. Some insiders claim the game could cost $100, and now a Swiss retailer has listed it for even more. Rockstar and Take-Two haven’t confirmed anything, but that hasn’t stopped speculation. With a fall 2025 release looming and no second trailer in sight, gamers are bracing for impact—not just from explosions in-game, but from their wallets.

UK comedy club bans frozen faces. A top UK comedy club has banned audience members with Botox, claiming their frozen faces are killing the vibe. Comedians at Top Secret Comedy Club—which has hosted Jack Whitehall, Amy Schumer, and Dave Chappelle—have complained they can’t handle the lack of facial reactions.

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TikTok of the day: watch here