Good morning.

It’s Thursday, October 16. The city’s half-asleep but already dreaming of the weekend—emails getting shorter, and coffees getting stronger.

On this day in 1846, doctors at Massachusetts General Hospital did something wild: they knocked a guy out with ether and performed surgery—painlessly. The world called it a miracle. Surgeons called it “Ether Day.” The rest of us just call it the reason modern medicine doesn’t involve screaming.

So here’s to anesthesia, the unsung hero of human progress—and to all of us coasting through the final stretch of the week.

Today’s stories:

• ChatGPT adds adult mode and custom personalities

• Netflix and Spotify launch exclusive video podcasts

• Satellites leak unencrypted data worldwide — oops

• Apple unveils M5-powered MacBooks and gadgets

• Shein’s new Paris store sparks fashion outrage

• Waymo’s self-driving cars hit London streets

• DOJ seizes $15B from global crypto scam

• Lyft kills rider tip-tracking after backlash

• Flip phones return as digital detox status

• Big Tech splurges $40B on AI data hubs

• Luxury train adds Amalfi Coast to route
  

  and more…

U.S. stock futures barely budged Wednesday night, as upbeat bank earnings helped steer attention away from political and trade worries — including a drawn-out government shutdown and lingering U.S.–China tensions. Dow futures inched up 0.2%, while S&P 500 and Nasdaq 100 futures added 0.1% and 0.2%, respectively.

After hours, J.B. Hunt surged over 11% after beating Wall Street’s forecasts, Salesforce climbed 3% following an optimistic Dreamforce outlook, and United Airlines slipped around 2% after weak revenue numbers.

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Nvidia and Friends Drop $40B on Digital Real Estate

Nvidia, Microsoft, BlackRock, and Elon Musk’s xAI just teamed up for a $40 billion shopping spree, buying Aligned Data Centers, probably because owning half the internet wasn’t enough. Aligned builds massive data campuses across the Americas, and this deal is now the biggest data center sale in history. The buyers include the usual suspects — BlackRock’s Global Infrastructure Partners, MGX from Abu Dhabi, and the newly formed Artificial Intelligence Infrastructure Partnership (AIP), which sounds like a secret club for trillion-dollar companies. It’s AIP’s first big move and part of a plan to drop $30 billion more into AI infrastructure, a.k.a. the digital real estate boom for machines that can think but can’t pay rent.

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Waymo rolls into London. Waymo’s packing its robotaxis and heading to London — its first European playground. The Alphabet-owned company plans to start testing its self-driving Jaguars on London streets soon, with a human babysitter in the driver’s seat (for now). If regulators don’t freak out, Waymo’s driverless rides could go live next year. After rolling through U.S. cities like L.A., Phoenix, and Austin — and even Tokyo earlier this year — London’s next on the list of “places brave enough to trust cars that drive themselves.” The fleet will use sleek Jaguar iPACEs, maintained by Moove (basically a car spa for robotaxis). Waymo swears its cars crash less than humans — five times fewer injury accidents and twelve times fewer with pedestrians, according to, well, Waymo. Alphabet’s losing billions on these “Other Bets,” but who cares when you’re building the future of sitting still while your car does the work.

Lyft tip feature nobody asked for. Lyft tried letting drivers see how often riders tip — and the internet freaked out. The company quietly tested a feature showing drivers whether a passenger usually tips or ghosts them, but after screenshots hit Reddit, backlash rolled in fast. Lyft says it killed the experiment after “hearing customers,” which is PR code for “Twitter yelled at us.” Some drivers loved it, calling it a “game changer.” Riders, on the other hand, didn’t enjoy being publicly shamed for skipping that extra $2. The move comes as tipping fatigue hits an all-time high. Apparently, people don’t want guilt-tripped by both baristas and their Lyft driver in the same day.

The biggest crypto heist you’ve never heard of. The DOJ just pulled off the biggest crypto seizure in history — grabbing $15 billion in bitcoin from a “pig butchering” scam based in Cambodia. Turns out, it wasn’t about actual pigs, just people getting financially slaughtered online. The alleged mastermind, 38-year-old Chen Zhi (a.k.a. “Vincent,” because every scammer needs a fake Western name), ran a fraud empire so massive the Treasury officially labeled his company, Prince Holding Group, a transnational criminal organization. Basically, he turned “scamming lonely people on the internet” into a Fortune 500 model. Zhi is still on the run, probably somewhere refreshing his crypto wallet in panic. If caught, he’s facing up to 40 years — which, in crypto years, is like eight market crashes.

Netflix and Spotify join forces. Netflix and Spotify just decided to trauma-bond over your screen time. The two streaming giants are teaming up to drop 16 video podcasts on Netflix — mostly sports, some pop culture, and the mandatory dose of true crime for when you need background noise while folding laundry. The deal reportedly blocks these shows from YouTube, so now you’ll have to pay to watch people talk instead of just… reading captions for free. YouTube still owns the podcast world with 31% of listeners, but Spotify’s clearly trying to make “watching podcasts” happen. Somewhere, Apple Podcasts is quietly weeping into its outdated interface.

Apple’s M5 Launch

Apple just dropped new MacBook Pro, iPad Pro, and Vision Pro models — all powered by the new M5 chip that’s four times faster, stronger, and more “AI-ish” than the last one. Translation: everything opens faster, and your credit card cries louder. Prices start at $1,599 for the MacBook Pro, $999 for the iPad Pro, and $3,499 for the Vision Pro headset — now with a “Dual Knit Band,” because nothing says luxury like a fancy piece of elastic. They’re available for preorder now and hit stores Oct. 22, just in time for the holiday panic. Apple says the M5 is great for AI tasks, but honestly, it’s really just great for reminding you that your old laptop is officially trash.

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Dumbphones are the new flex. Dumbphones are having a glow-up. The old flip phones your parents forgot in a drawer are suddenly cool again, marketed as “digital detox” devices for people tired of doomscrolling and dopamine hits. Turns out, not everyone wants a phone that tracks their every move or reminds them they’re behind on emails. Some just want to call their mom and not get sucked into TikTok for four hours. So now, companies are selling “premium” dumbphones — minimalist devices that do basically nothing, but look chic doing it. Around 210 million of these were sold last year, proving that the best way to sell less is to call it mindfulness.

ChatGPT gets a personality… and maybe an OnlyFans vibe. OpenAI just decided ChatGPT can get a little spicy. Starting in December, verified adults will be allowed to generate erotic content — part of the company’s new “treat adults like adults” policy. Basically, ChatGPT’s going from teacher’s pet to late-night cable. The update also lets users customize the bot’s personality — more emojis, more human tone, more “friend who texts too much” energy. Minors will still be redirected to the PG-13 version, and OpenAI promises some kind of age verification, though no one knows what that actually means yet. CEO Sam Altman said overly strict filters made ChatGPT “less enjoyable” for users, so now it’s loosening up. 

The sky has no privacy settings. Turns out, the sky is basically one giant group chat with no privacy settings. Researchers at UC San Diego and the University of Maryland discovered that half of all satellite signals—yes, the ones carrying calls, texts, and military data—are floating around completely unencrypted. Using just $800 worth of equipment, they picked up T-Mobile users’ messages, in-flight Wi-Fi data, oil company comms, and even U.S. military chatter. All because no one thought to, you know, add a password. The researchers titled their paper “Don’t Look Up,” which is cute until you realize that’s literally been the cybersecurity plan all along. For decades, companies just assumed no one would actually point a dish at the sky and check. Spoiler: someone did.

The Orient Express Heads to Amalfi

The Venice Simplon-Orient-Express is officially flirting with the Amalfi Coast next year — and honestly, it’s about time luxury found a new way to show off. Starting May 2026, the world’s most glamorous train will glide from Paris to Pompeii to Ravello, serving Champagne, views, and heavy main-character energy along the way. For about $11,400 a person, guests get three days of slow-motion bliss: vintage cabins, five-star food, cocktails in the Bar Car, and two nights at Belmond’s Hotel Caruso, dangling dramatically above the sea. It’s not travel — it’s a moving photoshoot with a train attached. So yes, it’s expensive. But if you’ve ever wanted to sip bubbles while cruising through Italy like you’re in a Fellini film, this is your moment. Amalfi’s calling — and it sounds like a train whistle.

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Paris melts down over polyester. Shein just waltzed into Paris — and the fashion crowd is having a collective meltdown. The fast-fashion behemoth is opening its first-ever permanent store at BHV Marais, the historic department store across from City Hall, and locals are reacting like someone put Crocs in the Louvre. French brands are storming out, unions are threatening strikes, and everyone’s pretending they didn’t order a $9 dress from Shein last summer. Still, the company insists it’s “honoring” the city’s legacy — by bringing 10,000 polyester tops into the birthplace of couture.

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TikTok of the day: watch here

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